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Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

My Wife Says I Never Listen, Or Something Like That...

We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me.

The wise never marry - And when they marry they become otherwise.

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

When I married MR. RIGHT, I didn't know his first name was ALWAYS!

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Words to live by - do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.

You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it."

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. the rest cheat in Europe.

If you want a committed man look in a mental hospital.

Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was damned near impossible.

Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn't want to wake the children?

Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.

He met her in a revolving door and has been going around with her ever since.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two!

Every man/woman should marry - After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

Our marriage was a love match. plain and simple, she was plain and I was simple!